Sarah opened her phone to show me her "baby names" note. I had to scroll for thirty seconds to reach the bottom.

"I started with three names," she laughed. "Now I have 247. I add five new ones every day, but I can't eliminate any because what if I delete the one?"

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. The best baby name lists aren't about having the most options—they're about having the right options at the right time.

The Foundation: Your Naming Values

Before the Lists Begin

Before you write down a single name, spend time with your partner discussing what matters to you. These conversations will save you hours of arguing over names that never had a chance.

Real example: Mike and Ana discovered he valued names that would "help our kid fit in," while she prioritized names that would "help our kid stand out."

This insight helped them find middle-ground names like Gabriel and Valentina—distinctive but not difficult.

Finding Your Common Ground

Every couple has different naming priorities. Some value family tradition above all else. Others want complete originality.

The key is identifying where your values overlap. Make two lists: non-negotiables and nice-to-haves. Focus on the overlap.

"

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"The best baby name lists aren't about quantity—they're about alignment with your family's values."

Stage 1: The Brain Dump

Weeks 6-12: Capture Everything

Goal: Capture everything without judgment

Create separate digital notes for boys and girls names (yes, even if you think you know the gender). For the next few weeks, add any name that sparks interest.

Where to Find Name Inspiration

Traditional Sources:

• Names you've always loved
• Family trees on both sides
• Biblical or religious texts
• Cultural heritage books

Modern Sources:

• Characters from books, movies, TV shows
• Friends' kids' names that you admire
• Names from places you've traveled
• Celebrity baby names (even if you'd never use them)
• Baby name apps and websites
• Names you hear in coffee shops or parks

Our baby name generator is designed specifically for this exploration—filter by meaning, origin, and style to surface names that genuinely resonate with you.

The Golden Rule of Brain Dumping

Add first, judge later. Write down Khaleesi if it makes you smile. Include Bartholomew if it honors great-grandpa.

This stage is about possibility, not probability.

Stage 2: The Great Organization

Weeks 13-16: Structure Your Chaos

Now comes the fun part—organizing your brain dump into meaningful categories. This helps you see patterns in your preferences and makes the narrowing process easier.

Suggested Name Categories

Heritage-Based:

• Family Honor Names: Connect to relatives
• Cultural Heritage: Reflect your background(s)

Style-Based:

• Nature Names: River, Sage, Aurora
• Classic Traditionals: William, Elizabeth, James
• Modern Favorites: Aiden, Harper, Mason
• Unique Finds: Names you've discovered and love
• Meaning-Based: Chosen for what they represent

The 10-10 Rule

Once organized, aim for about 10 names in each gender category. This gives you variety without overwhelm.

Sample organized list:

Boys - Family Names:

• Thomas (grandfather)
• Rafael (partner's uncle)
• David (biblical significance)

Boys - Modern Favorites:

• Liam
• Noah
• Ethan

This organization reveals your naming priorities. Are you heavy on traditional names? Missing cultural connections? Now you know.

Stage 3: The Reality Check

Weeks 17-22: Test Against Real Life

This is where you become a detective, investigating how each name would actually work in your child's life.

The Four Essential Tests

1. The Playground Test Can you imagine yelling this name across a crowded park? Some names that look beautiful on paper feel awkward to shout.

2. The Resume Test Picture this name on a job application in 25 years. Does it convey professionalism across different industries?

3. The Phone Test Call a restaurant and make a reservation using the name. How often do you have to spell it? Do people understand it?

4. The Sibling Test If you have other children or plan to, do the names work well together? Madison and Addison might be too matchy.

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"Test your favorite names in real-world scenarios before committing."

The Family Feedback Phase

Now's the time to carefully share your top contenders with trusted family and friends. Notice I said "carefully"—you don't need everyone's opinion.

Stage 4: The Shortlist Creation

Weeks 23-27: Narrow to Serious Contenders

Goal: Get down to 3-5 serious contenders per gender

This is the hardest part—eliminating names you've grown attached to. Here's how to make tough choices.

Three Elimination Methods

1. The Veto Power Each partner gets unlimited vetoes, no questions asked. If someone strongly dislikes a name, it's gone. This prevents resentment later.

2. The Lifestyle Check Does this name fit your family's lifestyle? Maximilian might feel too formal if you live in flip-flops.

3. The Gut Check Say each name out loud while imagining your baby. Which ones make you smile automatically?

Sample Shortlist Process

Started with: Alexander, Benjamin, Christopher, Daniel, Ethan, Gabriel, Henry, Isaac

After vetoes: Benjamin, Daniel, Gabriel, Henry, Isaac

After lifestyle check: Benjamin, Gabriel, Henry

Final shortlist: Benjamin, Gabriel, Henry

Don't Forget the Backup Plan

Keep a "maybe" list of 2-3 names that didn't quite make the cut. Sometimes your perspective changes in the third trimester.

You'll be glad to have options.

Stage 5: The Waiting Game

Weeks 28-40: Live With Your Choices

Here's where many parents make a crucial mistake—they keep researching and second-guessing instead of getting comfortable with their choices.

Weeks 28-32: The Marination Period

Stop actively discussing names. Let your shortlist settle into your subconscious.

You might notice that you naturally start referring to the baby by one particular name. Or that one name keeps coming up in conversations.

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"Sometimes the right name reveals itself when you stop forcing the decision."

Weeks 33-36: The Practice Phase

Start using your top names in different contexts:

• "When Benjamin gets here, we'll need to baby-proof those cabinets"
• "I can't wait to read stories to Gabriel"
• "Henry's room is almost ready"

Pay attention to which names feel natural and which feel forced.

Weeks 37-40: The Trust Phase

Many parents experience a moment of panic: "What if we choose wrong?"

Here's the truth: There's no wrong choice among names you've thoughtfully considered. Your shortlist represents names that align with your values, work practically, and feel emotionally right.

Advanced Decision Strategies

When You Can't Agree

Sometimes partners reach an impasse. Here are three proven solutions:

The Trade-Off System One partner chooses the first name, the other chooses the middle name. Or alternate who gets final say for different children.

The Meaning Focus Choose based on the meaning that resonates most with both of you. Sometimes the significance breaks the tie.

The Future Parent Test Imagine your child as a teenager. Which name would they thank you for choosing?

When You Have Too Many Good Options

The Nickname Test Which name has nicknames you both love? Alexander gives you Alex, Xander, Al. Gabriel offers Gabe or Gabby.

The Family Flow Say the full name (first, middle, last) out loud. Which flows best? Sometimes the rhythm decides it.

The Uniqueness Check Look up popularity rankings. Do you want something in the top 10, top 100, or more unique?

Organization Hacks

The Hospital Decision

When Your Baby Changes Everything

About 15% of parents change their minds completely when they meet their baby.

Lisa and Tom were certain their daughter would be Charlotte, until she was born.

"We looked at her and she just wasn't a Charlotte," Lisa remembered. "She was clearly an Emma. It wasn't even on our list, but it was absolutely right."

This isn't indecision—it's intuition. Trust it.

Red Flags in Your Process

Warning Signs You Need to Reset

You might need to start over if:

• You have more than 50 names per gender after 20 weeks
• You're changing your entire list weekly
• You're choosing names to please others rather than yourselves
• You're so focused on uniqueness that you forget practicality
• You can't imagine actually using any names on your list

These are signs of analysis paralysis. Take a break, then restart with clearer priorities.

The Perfect List Doesn't Exist

Finding Peace With Your Choice

Here's what I tell every parent I work with: The goal isn't to find the perfect name—it's to choose a name that fits your family, values, and dreams for your child.

Your baby will make any name perfect simply by being themselves. Oliver will be uniquely your Oliver. Sophia will grow into her own version of Sophia.

The love you put into choosing their name matters more than achieving some impossible standard of perfection.

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"Your baby will make any name perfect simply by being themselves."

Your Next Step

Start your list today. Whether you brainstorm in a notebook or explore our baby name generator, the important thing is to begin.

Open a note on your phone. Write down three names you've always loved. That's your beginning.

Organize thoughtfully, eliminate strategically, and when the time comes—trust your heart.

Your baby's name is waiting for you to find it, and with the right approach, you will.